A man asked, “Babaji, I am suffering a lot because of my wife. Could you give me a solution to it?”
Babaji said, “If I had a solution, why would I become a saint?”
Apparently, the only solution to your problems from wife is to remain single.
We have heard a million times in social and friendly conversations the condition of an average married men who were proud to flaunt their courage, confidence and guts during their bachelorhood, but soon after they get married, they turn into a subservient sissy. Astonishingly, nobody seems to question the aggression of the woman who managed to turn his courageous and gregarious husband into an obedient tamed pet. Women obviously can’t admit that they cunningly change their husband to suit their own lifestyle, temperament and ambition. Men, on the other hand, are crushed between their own ‘right’ to freedom, independence, self-respect and the traditional culture of protecting and providing the woman in the family, which nobody seems to realize that it has become outdated long ago.
The condition of modern Indian men is like the Dhobhi ka kutta, naa ghar kaa naa ghaat kaa. He is forced to abide by the outdated Indian tradition, more so now because women have procured legal provisions that will legally punish men if they decide not to fulfill the whimsical desires of his wife e.g., kicking out his own parents out of the house so that the wife can rule the whole house. In the name of protection for women, feminists have procured legal provisions for women, which are, in reality, a legal slavery of men. Dowry laws and Domestic Violence laws are ways to protect women who proudly harass innocent men and in-laws. Feminists are trying to instill fear in men by proposing such biased and draconian laws for women’s so-called protection by which women can easily enslave men legally. Now, men are not safe in their house and nor at the office. Everywhere he goes, he is under constant threat of being falsely implicated by a woman. Feminist call this gender equality. Too much of anything is disastrous. Women have been given excessive legal ‘powers’ not rights and therefore, misuse of laws becomes inevitable. Innocent people are suffering and nobody seems to be bothered.
The pressure on an average man is incredible. He is now growing up in a feministic environment where he sees himself hated by women, unwanted by the educational system, labeled as criminal by the judiciary and eventually called a sperm bank and money-making machine by his wife. This feministic environment has taken away his fundamental ‘rights’ to live his life with freedom, independence, self-respect and dignity. He reads in newspapers that everybody believes that all men are rapists by nature, criminal by birth and born wife-beaters. He wants to object on the way male gender is degraded by the society, but he is so crushed inside slogging to make ends meet financially, that he has no energy left to stop anti-social activities of these feminists. He is emotionally hurt but can’t express his feelings. He has to endure watching male-bashing advertisements and TV serials. He has to endure derogatory remarks made by male-hating women and male-libbers. He is filled with furious anger, but he chooses to keep quiet.
In school, his existence is invisible to others, he is abandoned by his parents, thinking that he is a male and therefore he must be left alone taking care of himself. He is burdened with a million unanswered questions that he must silently endure and also continue to be a part of the rat-race in the competitive world, and repeatedly face failures damaging his self-confidence. He knows he is reasonably sensitive but his feelings are never respected nor taken care of by the family, friends and society. Reaching adolescent, he has already suppressed half of his real true self so that he does not become a misfit in the society. This suppression understandably damages his self-esteem and self-respect to an extent that his strong points becomes his weak points, he loses his determination, his passion fades away, his creativity weakens, what used to be a sharp mind now becomes blunt.
He finds no source of inspiration. He drags himself only to survive with the hope that his situation might not aggravate any further. But it does. He then gets married. However, before marriage, he may have believed that there is one girl out there for him, waiting to be discovered and loved by him. Fear of rejection in men has never been a serious issue in psychological science maybe because it is much easier to understand a woman than a man.
Besides, addressing a woman’s issue pays because it becomes easier for NGOs to procure funds when addressing women issues. Men issues are buried in the pile of apathy and disgust. Even after marriage, his inner most wishes are battered by so-called practical behaviour expected from him by his wife and the society. He understands the importance of ethical behaviour and therefore he remains jovial, friendly trying to conceal his true feelings from everybody he knows. He knows everybody around him, but nobody knows him. He masquerades his true emotions to be able to live a happy married life with his ever-dominating wife who only knows what ‘she’ wants, nothing else.
Indian men have proved that when it comes to being mysterious and enigmatic, they can easily defeat women. Indian men’s heart has been battered to such an extent that it is virtually impossible for anybody to even comprehend. He may always want to reclaim his lost self-respect, dignity and freedom in this feministic environment, but in reality, he knows that he is no less than a saint, who walks a broken and treacherous path to salvation, freedom from a life of slavery. This is Indian Men, who has been there and seen it all. He has seen the best of women, and now the worst of women, but his role as a man in India still remains the same. Indian men are getting the real feeling of spiritual enlightenment, where he is emotionally squeezed to look inward and search for true happiness inside him instead of dreaming a beautiful happy married life with a virtuous woman, which invariably turns out to be a self-centered wife, who only shows him the list of demands that he must fulfill along with handcuffs, in case he refuses or fails to comply. These men, though, will be lost in the memories of the rarest after they die, but will inspire ‘one’ unsuspecting man to discover a whole new life for Indian men for the years to come.
However, there will be certain men who will fail to resist the temptation of the fictional pleasure shown by self-indulgent glamorous women. They will be unable to sense the increasing emptiness within them because of the uncontrollable and beastly greed for sensual pleasure. Perhaps, these men, too, are necessary in our society for ‘others’ to observe and learn that if men don’t look inward to search for true happiness inside them, then they will run the risk of turning into an animal having no sensation of the true self. The past was glutted by mistakes, present is deplorable, and the future will get even more disastrous if Indian men don’t turn introvert and discover the true source of bliss. Living in such a decadent society is no easy task especially for a man having moral and ethical values, but if he takes the destiny of the future in his hands by being happy with what he is instead of pretending to be somebody else to avoid being a misfit in the society, he ‘will’ be in a position to alter the course of Indian society from becoming the victim of it’s own outlandish culture.
It is now time to be unconventional and revolutionary. Indian men must now seek to reclaim his lost self-respect, dignity and independence by not allowing the deformed and distorted Indian culture to overpower his ‘will’. He must now become connected to his true self, the sensitive and generous self, which has never been recognized in this female-dominated society. Only when he resists the temptation of sensual pleasures, which is now all around him, and opts to retain his dignity by respecting his body and the life-creating-force inside him, he will then feel the void inside him filling up with bliss and emotional freedom.
A man asked, “Babaji, I am suffering a lot because of my wife. Could you give me a solution to it?”
Babaji said, “The solution is inside you. Seek it and you shall find.”
Spirituality is the key for the problems of Indian men. The more they greed for sensual pleasure, the more they will feel empty and blank inside. The more they turn inward to seek true bliss and freedom, the more they will be in charge of their life and destiny. There was no respite for men in Indian tradition and culture and there will never be. Indian men can rest in the abode of spiritual knowledge and self-realization. We have always suppressed our self to be accepted in the female-dominated society, where we have been labeled as criminal, rapists and wife-beater. Not any more.
