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HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR 2008 TO YOU

HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR 2008 TO YOU

What a Woman Wants in a Man

Second Pregnancy

 

 

Looks likethestork is expected again! You face is glowing, there is happiness all around and everyone is excitedly awaiting the new arrival. However, there are certain things that must be kept in mind for planning a second pregnancy. If you are thinking that since you had an easy first pregnancy, this one will be a cakewalk, think again! Majority of women don’t have the same symptoms as the first pregnancy and even get some symptoms that they were totally unaware of. Sometimes, the belly shows up within the fourth month, while for some, there are increased incidents of morning sickness. Here’s how to go about planning pregnancy for the second time.

 

Physical Preparation

 

Your body has already undergone the travails of pregnancy once. A lot of wear and tear takes place which heals with time. So when you plan to have second child, make sure that your body is in a healthy condition. Remember the body will be under immense pressure for nine months, not to mention the post-delivery complications. So make sure you give your body time to heal and become strong to bear a baby for the second time.

 

Appropriate Gap between Two Kids

 

There should be enough time gap between your first and second child. Ideally, doctors recommend that the time gap should not be less than 1.5 to 2 years. This is the time that the body also takes to prepare itself for a second baby. you also need at least two years to take care of the first baby properly and then prepare yourself for the second one. Having a toddler already and then a new born will only make things difficult for you and the children. Also, the first born child will not feel as neglected if he/she is old enough to understand that a second child is coming and needs attention.

 

Plan Carefully

 

It is a fact that most of the second pregnancies are unplanned. You need to know that your body becomes fertile in just 6 weeks after the delivery. So, plan your second baby carefully or else, you might treat it like an unwanted child. This kind of a feeling will hamper you greatly when you are pregnant as you tend to go through a stressful time and also suffer from post-partum depression.

 

Financially Strong        

 

Make sure you have enough finances to support a second baby. Doctor visits, baby products, health supplements, medicines, etc. can burn quite a hole in your pocket. So make sure you are financially sound to have a second child. Also, plan soundly for the future keeping both the kids in mind. You will need to fish out a good amount for education and career building for the two kids; not to mention their different lifestyles and demands.

 

So, keep these few things in mind and you can look forward to a great second pregnancy!

15 PIECES OF ADVICE FOR WOMAN

Its all about Wives

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.

 
************
 
My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met .

 
************
 
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

 
************

 
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor."

I asked her, "Where's the car?"

She replied, "
In the lake."

 
************

 
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

 
************
 

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months -
I don't like to interrupt her.

 
************

 
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.

So I got myself two girlfriends.

 
************

 
Man is incomplete until he is married.
Then he is finished.

 
************

 
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
 

************

 
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "
Wife wanted."

The next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same: "
You can have mine."

 
*************

 
It's not true that married men live longer than single men.

It only seems longer.
 

*************

 
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

 
*************

 
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.

The man thinks for a moment and says, Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."

 
**************

 
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once .


 
**************

 

Top 50 Things To Do To Stop Global Warming

Global warming is a dramatically urgent and serious problem. We don't need to wait for governments to find a solution for this problem: each individual can bring an important help adopting a more responsible lifestyle: starting from little, everyday things. It's the only reasonable way to save our planet, before it is too late.
Here is a list of 50 simple things that everyone can do in order to fight against and reduce the Global Warming phenomenon: some of these ideas are at no cost, some other require a little effort or investment but can help you save a lot of money, in the middle-long term!
 
1.      Replace a regular incandescent light bulb with a compact fluorescent light bulb (cfl)

CFLs use 60% less energy than a regular bulb. This simple switch will save about 300 pounds of carbon dioxide a year.
 
 
2.      Install a programmable thermostat

Programmable thermostats will automatically lower the heat or air conditioning at night and raise them again in the morning. They can save you $100 a year on your energy bill.
 
3.      Move your thermostat down
 
2° in winter and up 2° in summer
Almost half of the energy we use in our homes goes to heating and cooling. You could save about 2,000 pounds of carbon dioxide a year with this simple adjustment. The American Council for an Energy Efficient Economy has more tips for saving energy on heating and cooling.
 
4.      Clean or replace filters on your furnace and air conditioner

Cleaning a dirty air filter can save 350 pounds of carbon dioxide a year.
 
5.      Choose energy efficient appliances when making new purchases

Look for the Energy Star label on new appliances to choose the most efficient models available.
 
6.      Do not leave appliances on standby

Use the "on/off" function on the machine itself. A TV set that's switched on for 3 hours a day (the average time Europeans spend watching TV) and in standby mode during the remaining 21 hours uses about 40% of its energy in standby mode.
 
7.      Wrap your water heater in an insulation blanket

You’ll save 1,000 pounds of carbon dioxide a year with this simple action. You can save another 550 pounds per year by setting the thermostat no higher than 50°C.
 
8.      Move your fridge and freezer

Placing them next to the cooker or boiler consumes much more energy than if they were standing on their own. For example, if you put them in a hot cellar room where the room temperature is 30-35ºC, energy use is almost double and causes an extra 160kg of CO2 emissions for fridges per year and 320kg for freezers.
 
9.      Defrost old fridges and freezers regularly

Even better is to replace them with newer models, which all have automatic defrost cycles and are generally up to two times more energy-efficient than their predecessors.
 
10.  Don't let heat escape from your house over a long period

When airing your house, open the windows for only a few minutes. If you leave a small opening all day long, the energy needed to keep it warm inside during six cold months (10ºC or less outside temperature) would result in almost 1 ton of CO2 emissions.
 
11.  Replace your old single-glazed windows with double-glazing

This requires a bit of upfront investment, but will halve the energy lost through windows and pay off in the long term. If you go for the best the market has to offer (wooden-framed double-glazed units with low-emission glass and filled with argon gas), you can even save more than 70% of the energy lost.
 
12.  Get a home energy audit

Many utilities offer free home energy audits to find where your home is poorly insulated or energy inefficient. You can save up to 30% off your energy bill and 1,000 pounds of carbon dioxide a year. Energy Star can help you find an energy specialist.
 
13.  Cover your pots while cooking

Doing so can save a lot of the energy needed for preparing the dish. Even better are pressure cookers and steamers: they can save around 70%!
 
14.  Use the washing machine or dishwasher only when they are full

If you need to use it when it is half full, then use the half-load or economy setting. There is also no need to set the temperatures high. Nowadays detergents are so efficient that they get your clothes and dishes clean at low temperatures.
 
 
15.  Take a shower instead of a bath

A shower takes up to four times less energy than a bath. To maximise the energy saving, avoid power showers and use low-flow showerheads, which are cheap and provide the same comfort.
 
16.  Use less hot water

It takes a lot of energy to heat water. You can use less hot water by installing a low flow showerhead (350 pounds of carbon dioxide saved per year) and washing your clothes in cold or warm water (500 pounds saved per year) instead of hot.
 
17.  Use a clothesline instead of a dryer whenever possible

You can save 700 pounds of carbon dioxide when you air dry your clothes for 6 months out of the year.
 
18.  Insulate and weatherize your home

Properly insulating your walls and ceilings can save 25% of your home heating bill and 2,000 pounds of carbon dioxide a year. Caulking and weather-stripping can save another 1,700 pounds per year. Energy Efficient has more information on how to better insulate your home.
 
19.  Be sure you’re recycling at home

You can save 2,400 pounds of carbon dioxide a year by recycling half of the waste your household generates.
 
20.  Recycle your organic waste

Around 3% of the greenhouse gas emissions through the methane is released by decomposing bio-degradable waste. By recycling organic waste or composting it if you have a garden, you can help eliminate this problem! Just make sure that you compost it properly, so it decomposes with sufficient oxygen, otherwise your compost will cause methane emissions and smell foul.
 
21.  Buy intelligently

One bottle of 1.5l requires less energy and produces less waste than three bottles of 0.5l. As well, buy recycled paper products: it takes less 70 to 90% less energy to make recycled paper and it prevents the loss of forests worldwide.
 
22.  Choose products
 
 that come with little packaging and buy refills when you can
You will also cut down on waste production and energy use!
 
23.  Reuse your shopping bag

When shopping, it saves energy and waste to use a reusable bag instead of accepting a disposable one in each shop. Waste not only discharges CO2 and methane into the atmosphere, it can also pollute the air, groundwater and soil.
 
24.  Reduce waste

Most products we buy cause greenhouse gas emissions in one or another way, e.g. during production and distribution. By taking your lunch in a reusable lunch box instead of a disposable one, you save the energy needed to produce new lunch boxes.
 
25.  Plant a tree

A single tree will absorb one ton of carbon dioxide over its lifetime. Shade provided by trees can also reduce your air conditioning bill by 10 to 15%. The Arbor Day Foundation has information on planting and provides trees you can plant with membership.
 
26.  Switch to green power

In many areas, you can switch to energy generated by clean, renewable sources such as wind and solar. The Green Power Network is a good place to start to figure out what’s available in your area.
 
27.  Buy locally grown and produced foods

The average meal in the United States travels 1,200 miles from the farm to your plate. Buying locally will save fuel and keep money in your community.
 
28.  Buy fresh foods instead of frozen

Frozen food uses 10 times more energy to produce.
 
29.  Seek out and support local farmers markets

They reduce the amount of energy required to grow and transport the food to you by one fifth. You can find a farmer’s market in your area at the USDA website.
 
30.  Buy organic foods as much as possible

Organic soils capture and store carbon dioxide at much higher levels than soils from conventional farms. If we grew all of our corn and soybeans organically, we’d remove 580 billion pounds of carbon dioxide from the atmosphere!
 
31.  Eat less meat

Methane is the second most significant greenhouse gas and cows are one of the greatest methane emitters. Their grassy diet and multiple stomachs cause them to produce methane, which they exhale with every breath.
 
32.  Reduce the number of miles you drive by walking, biking, carpooling or taking mass transit wherever possible

Avoiding just 10 miles of driving every week would eliminate about 500 pounds of carbon dioxide emissions a year! Look for transit options in your area.
 
33.  Start a carpool with your coworkers or classmates

Sharing a ride with someone just 2 days a week will reduce your carbon dioxide emissions by 1,590 pounds a year. ERideShare.com runs a free national service connecting commuters and travelers.
 
34.  Don't leave an empty roof rack on your car

This can increase fuel consumption and CO2 emissions by up to 10% due to wind resistance and the extra weight - removing it is a better idea.
 
35.  Keep your car tuned up

Regular maintenance helps improve fuel efficiency and reduces emissions. When just 1% of car owners properly maintain their cars, nearly a billion pounds of carbon dioxide are kept out of the atmosphere.
 
36.  Drive carefully and do not waste fuel

You can reduce CO2 emissions by readjusting your driving style. Choose proper gears, do not abuse the gas pedal, use the engine brake instead of the pedal brake when possible and turn off your engine when your vehicle is motionless for more than one minute. By readjusting your driving style you can save money on both fuel and car mantainance.
 
37.  Check your tires weekly to make sure they’re properly inflated

Proper inflation can improve gas mileage by more than 3%. Since every gallon of gasoline saved keeps 20 pounds of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere, every increase in fuel efficiency makes a difference!
 
38.  When it is time for a new car, choose a more fuel efficient vehicle

You can save 3,000 pounds of carbon dioxide every year if your new car gets only 3 miles per gallon more than your current one. You can get up to 60 miles per gallon with a hybrid! You can find information on fuel efficiency on Fuel Economy and on Green Cars websites.
 
39.  Try car sharing

Need a car but don’t want to buy one? Community car sharing organizations provide access to a car and your membership fee covers gas, maintenance and insurance. Many companies – such as Flex car - offer low emission or hybrid cars too!
 
40.  Try telecommuting from home

Telecommuting can help you drastically reduce the number of miles you drive every week. For more information, check out the Telework Coalition.
 
41.  Fly less

Air travel produces large amounts of emissions so reducing how much you fly by even one or two trips a year can reduce your emissions significantly. You can also offset your air travel by investing in renewable energy projects.
 
42.  Encourage your school or business to reduce emissions

You can extend your positive influence on global warming well beyond your home by actively encouraging other to take action.
 
43.  Join the virtual march

The Stop Global Warming Virtual March is a non-political effort to bring people concerned about global warming together in one place. Add your voice to the hundreds of thousands of other people urging action on this issue.
 
44.  Encourage the switch to renewable energy

Successfully combating global warming requires a national transition to renewable energy sources such as solar, wind and biomass. These technologies are ready to be deployed more widely but there are regulatory barriers impeding them. Take action to break down those barriers with Vote Solar.
 
45.  Protect and conserve forest worldwide

Forests play a critial role in global warming: they store carbon. When forests are burned or cut down, their stored carbon is release into the atmosphere - deforestation now accounts for about 20% of carbon dioxide emissions each year. Conservation International has more information on global warming and forests.
 
46.  Consider the impact of your investments

If you invest your money, you should consider the impact that your investments and savings will have on global warming. Check out Social Invest and Ceres to can learn more about how to ensure your money is being invested in companies, products and projects that address issues related to climate change.
 
47.  Make your city cool

Cities and states around the country have taken action to stop global warming by passing innovative transportation and energy saving legislation. 194 cities nationwide representing over 40 million people have made this pledge as part of the U.S. Mayors Climate Protection Agreement. Find out how to make your city a cool city.
 
48.  Tell Congress to act

The McCain Lieberman Climate Stewardship and Innovation Act would set a firm limit on carbon dioxide emissions and then use free market incentives to lower costs, promote efficiency and spur innovation. Tell your representative to support it.
 
49.  Make sure your voice is heard!

Americans must have a stronger commitment from their government in order to stop global warming and implement solutions and such a commitment won’t come without a dramatic increase in citizen lobbying for new laws with teeth. Get the facts about U.S. politicians and candidates at Project Vote Smart and The League of Conservation Voters. Make sure your voice is heard by voting!
 
50.  Share this list!

Send this page via e-mail to your friends! Spread this list worldwide and help people doing their part: the more people you will manage to enlighten, the greater YOUR help to save the planet will be

 

9 Words women use & if MAN IS not alert,will pay heavily in Emotions

9 Words women use & if  MAN IS not alert,will pay heavily in Emotions
9words
1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and
you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to     --- watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you
should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'nothing' usually end in 'fine.'

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about
nothing. (Refer back to #3
for the meaning of 'nothing.')

6.) That's okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can  make to a man.
'That's okay' means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.


7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say
"You're welcome."

8.) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it:
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is  --- something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it  herself.
This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?"
For the woman's     ----- response refer to #3.

Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid breaking up with their girlfriend ---if they remember the terminology.

Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, 'cause they --know it's true.

 

Then You Grew

When I held you in my arms for the very first time,
I thought I could never love you more. . . .
but then you grew…

In those precious baby times-- through your first smile,
your first tooth, your first steps,
I thought I could never love you more. . .
but then you grew…

And in those sweet toddler times-- the endless days of curiosity
and adventures and discoveries,
I thought I could never love you more. . .
Then you grew…

And in those wonderful little girl times-- those days of hurt knees and hurt feelings
of making friends and taking in the world around you,
I thought I could never love you more. . .
but then you grew…

And in those lovely young woman times-- those times of moods
and mysteries, and joys and heartaches,
I thought I could never love you more. . .
but again, you grew….

And still, always, day by day,
you keep growing. . .
more and more beautiful. . .
nearer and dearer to my heart.
and I thought I could never love you more..

- Anon

“BAI” GOD!

Yes, the "Bai" is truly God in our lives, isn't she? All you women out there who run homes and deal with temperamental house help will understand what I'm trying to say. In India, it's hard to ape the west and do household chores ourselves. We have different food habits, different lifestyles, lots of dust….in short we are definitely dependent on the "Bai" or house help!

But, believe me, we have lots to learn from the Bai…
Have you ever noticed their direct approach in life? When they come for a job interview, all they want to know is "how much salary?" They never elaborate on their timings of work, their skills etc.

Noticed their method of getting their due? When they want an advance, they want an advance. If you dilly dally, they threaten to walk out, so you just have to agree.

The Bai has attitude! If you remind her of what you gave her last Diwali, how you paid for her kid's schooling or the advances you gave her when she needed them, and expect gratitude, forget it! She will turn around and say with complete confidence, " But that is your duty, you wanted to do it so you did it. Everybody does it!". Such comments have often left me speechless.

Bais have mastered the art of "mukti" or not being attached to anything or anyone. They are truly evolved and have reached the level of Nirvana because they never get attached to worldly things. If they are working for you, they love your kids, say they are devoted to you and will only work for you! Let someone offer them Rs. 50 more in terms of salary, and they will walk out. There is no attachment, no loyalty or word of honour then.

Every time the Bai takes leave unannounced ( whenever I have guests or have some urgent work to be done) I have threatened her with a salary cut for her absenteeism. But she has always outsmarted me with her innovative thinking: "No body cuts salary, if you don't like my work I will leave" I have never understood the connection, and now I have given up trying to as well. We, and our politicians need to learn from the Bai how to deflect issues. They have mastered the art!

To conclude, all I can say is "Bai God!"
- Rasika

Too Busy to Notice

Of late I've found myself annoyed by how busy my friends seem. Putting aside the possibility that they are avoiding me, some are always on-the-go that they barely have time to tell me they do not have time to talk. Every phone call, no matter how short, seems to be interrupted by several others.

I consider my life to be somewhat filled and fulfilling. I have a husband and two children, work part time, exercise several times a week (well, usually) and socialize regularly. I also have time to read novels, catch a movie or play once in a while and have the occasional long lunch with a friend ( should I be embarrasses admitting this?)

In our busy, busy world, however, I sometimes feel as if I am the odd one out. Although those who are overworked and overwhelmed complain ceaselessly, often sounding boastful! I have realized that "busyness" differs from person to person. Every person has a different threshold. One of my friends finds one social engagement too much, whereas others love to party, party and party! Some may even trade in a little stress in stead of boredom, if they were doing something they enjoyed!

I know there are people who need to work for a living, who must work long hours in order to survive. But I am talking about those who love the self-imposed frenetic pace! I see it as unnecessary, but that's my personal opinion.

Frankly, if you ask me, too many people today are too busy to even notice that they are busy. By the time they realize, life has invariably passed them by. So, isn't it important to wake up to what exactly we are busy with? In stead of racing through life, going no where, shouldn't we start investing in relationships, things we love to do and find time for the people we love to meet?

- Alina

Of Cell Phones & Impatience…

I have never thought of myself as an impatient person, but the other day I discovered, cell phones had made me impatient! Let me tell you how….


When I call someone on the land line and there is no reply, I kind of take it for granted they are out, and I should call back later. But I don't seem to use the same logic when it comes to cell phones. If someone doesn't answer, or they don't return my missed call, it makes me impatient! I consider them impolite or even ill-mannered. My impatience makes me jump to conclusions!


I remember reading a piece about this doctor who was unable to use his cell phone, and his impatience almost drove him from busy to crazy! It drove him nuts to use a land line, and he got impatient waiting for the dial to return to start. He tried to think rationally and tried timing how long it took for the dial to return to start. To his surprise, it only took eleven seconds! That's when he realized how he had become a man in a hurry even when there was no reason to hurry!


Every time my teenaged son mumbles into his incessantly ringing cell phone it makes me mad! Here we are in the midst of a serious conversation and off he goes into a totally different world! This happens at work too. I'm just about getting an important point across to my team, when one of them gets a call on the cell phone. Yes, he's put it on silent, but nevertheless I see his attention waver! I have to start all over again…


People are known to disrupt important meetings when they get a call and say " oh! This one's important. I need to take it" Was there a life before the cell phone? Didn't we have important issues to deal with, those days? How on earth did we manage to?


I often think why is this happening to us? Is it really happening to us or are we doing it to ourselves? Cell phones are just a touch away, they are a status symbol and give one a kind of "high". Are we afraid to slow down? Is it this innate desire for control that is making people lose it?


- Ritika

Mom’s The Word!

 

Some people ( or should I say most people) never seem to realize how lucky they are. I am grateful for every day that passes, for all that I have. I don't really mean how much I own or what I possess, but the wealth of relationships in my bag! My family, parents, siblings, husband, friends… the crazy times, the closeness, the love.

Of course I complain "sometimes" ( my husband and kids would like to alter that I'm sure, to "almost always" ) – as a mom I think I have reason enough. Being a mom isn't easy, and what makes it even more difficult, is the fact that this is a thankless job. For all that you do as a mom, 30 years down the line, someone will still take a look at your kid ( now an adult of course) and pronounce rather grandly " raised all wrong!"

Even though I get hassled about small things, worry about a child's cold, get tired putting their toys away or cleaning up messy rooms, when I sit back to think, I know motherhood is a thankless job, but it is still worthwhile.

I'd love to network with all those moms out there and soon we can have a Moms Blog where we can air our worries / anxieties! I'd love to share what motherhood has taught me, and I'm sure lots of you out there have lots of practical experience I could learn and benefit from.

So lets get started! Blog away…

- Dipika

Growing Up!

 

Aaah! Those growing up years, when you just can't wait to grow up and "feel" grown up! How we longed for it! Years which are beautiful only in hindsight.

My sister and I were just two years apart. Torturing each other was the most important thing in life, at that moment. We fought about everything there was to fight about: whose friends were more obnoxious, who was mom's favourite, who would get the better dress that birthday, who messed up the room and who would tidy it up.

We even fought over the family dog! Who would walk him, who he would sleep with and who he loved more. Snoopy was a delirious Beagle who took great pride in how fast he could swish his tail and lick us at the same time. I would conveniently make up stories about how Snoopy had slobbered all over me and that was enough for the weeping willow!

We considered each other a waste of human space, and didn't hesitate to say so. Several tearful days followed, as did the parent's wrath. Dad always said once you both grow up, you won't be able to live without each other. Yes, we believed him like life would be full of Sundays! We scoffed the very thought and couldn't wait for each other to get out of the room, house and lives!

School was the other nightmare! Having this lil' sister winging around and I got ticked off by the teachers for all that she hadn't done. Being constantly told that I was the role model and had to set an example got my goat. Why couldn't she just be a separate individual?

Why were we clubbed together like Siamese twins? People felt obliged to invite her when they invited me to birthday parties / movies. I'd much rather have just dropped her in the garbage bin than have to suffer her for a whole evening. I often told her she was adopted and reduced her to tears. Sounds mean in hindsight, but I enjoyed seeing that expression on her face those days and loved it when the water works started!

Wonder if others go through these streaks of "hating" the sibling or am I different?
- Shirin

Consumer protection act of 1986:

The above Act is a special piece of legislation for the better protection of the interests of consumers. Both judicial and non-judicial members have joined as members of the District, State and National Commission to provide extensive support to the consumers. The Act has been enacted to give effective and speedy relief to the affected or aggrieved consumers with nil or negligible expense. The Forum created under the Act of 1986 does not require any Court-fee or does not follow the formal procedures of Court, Civil or Criminal. The Act also does not require the consumer to file complaint in person. Any recognized consumers’ association can espouse on his behalf. In case there are a large number of consumers who have similar complaint, one or more can file a complaint on behalf of all. If required even the Central Government or State Government can act on his/their behalf. You don’t require a lawyer to argue your case in the consumer court. You could argue your case if you wish to do so. Yet it is advisable to have an experienced legal counsel for support.

Definition of Consumer:

According to the Consumer Protection Act, any person who buys goods or hires a service for personal use can be termed as a "consumer".
It would not, however, include goods bought for commercial purposes or resale.
If the consumer is an entrepreneur or self employed and the goods used, are for the purpose of self-employment, (i.e. personally by the consumer) then he/she could be termed a consumer.
The term "consumer" also includes any person who uses goods with the consent of the person who buys goods. A person who hires services or a beneficiary of such hired services would also be termed as a consumer of such service.
Rights of the Consumer:

The following are the rights of the consumer.

Right to Safety - from harm being caused by defective goods and services.
Right to be Informed - about the goods being purchased and services availed.
Right to Choose - from a variety of goods and services.
Right to be Heard – about defective goods purchased or service rendered.
Right to seek Redressal – from quasi judicial or competent judicial authorities.
Right to Consumer Education – so that the consumer can exercise his rights freely.
How to Complain:

You must keep in mind the following issues before filing a complaint.

Make sure that the complaint is a valid complaint.
The initial complaint should be made in a polite manner and directly to the person who directly dealt with the consumer. If properly handled sometimes it might elicit cooperation.
You must preserve cash memos and warranty card.
In case, you make a complaint after a certain period, then with the above documents you must first approach the retailer. The retailer might give you an explanation.
If that proves to be futile, then you could write to the manufacturer, quoting the Bill No., Date of cash Memo, Number and Date of Warranty etc.
You must retain all the originals of the above documents. It is also important to keep the copies of all the letters.
If the case is regarding suspected food and drug adulteration, then you could write to the State Health Authority. In that case, samples of the suspected food and drugs must be retained as evidence.
If the complaint is about products with ISI/AGMARK certification performing poorly, then you could write to the respective agency. ISI certification guarantees replacement.
If there is no response from the concerned people or organization, then you could write to any Consumer society you know about. You could also write to the Consumer Guidance Society of India, Block ‘j’ Mahapalika Marg, Mumbai 400 001.
In spite of everything, if you are unable to get the complaint redressed then you may complain to the District Consumer Disputes Redressal Forum, only if the compensation claim is below Rs.5 lakhs
You must complain to the State Consumer Disputes Redressal Commission if the claim is between Rs.5 lakhs and Rs.20 lakhs.
For claims exceeding Rs.20 lakhs, you must refer the complaints to the National Consumer Disputes Redressal Commission at New Delhi.
It is important that you do not get disheartened and give up fighting regarding a valid complaint.
Structure of complaint:

You should check for the following details in your complaint.

The complaint must have been made within the limitation of two years from the date of cause of action.
Name and address of the complainant (your name) in full.
Time, place and cause of the complaint.
Particulars in detail, along with supporting documents as exhibits. If the opposite company is in your state, then the complaint could be made in regional language.
If the opposite company is in different state then it is better to make the complaint in English.
Post the complaint in a stamped envelope. It is preferable to avoid postcards.
Three copies of the complaint together with all the annexures for the Forum, and extra sets for each of the opponents should be filed.
Last, but not least, the relief claimed by you in clear words: Whether you want replacement/removal of defect or return of price, compensation for expenses incurred as well as physical/mental torture, if any. Remember the claim amount should be within reasonable limits and justifiable.
Relief available to consumer:

The Redressal Forums may give order for one or more of the following relief, depending on the facts and circumstances.

It may order for the removal of defects from the goods,
It may ask for the replacement of the goods;
The court may ask the opposition party for refund of the price paid;
You may be awarded compensation for the loss or injury suffered;
The court may order for removal of defects or deficiencies in the services;
The court might order for the discontinuance of unfair trade practices or direct the opposition party not to repeat it.
It may call for the withdrawal of the hazardous goods from being offered to sale or award the adequate cost that you deserve.

Growing Up!

Aaah! Those growing up years, when you just can’t wait to grow up and “feel” grown up! How we longed for it! Years which are beautiful only in hindsight.

My sister and I were just two years apart. Torturing each other was the most important thing in life, at that moment. We fought about everything there was to fight about: whose friends were more obnoxious, who was mom’s favourite, who would get the better dress that birthday, who messed up the room and who would tidy it up.

We even fought over the family dog! Who would walk him, who he would sleep with and who he loved more. Snoopy was a delirious Beagle who took great pride in how fast he could swish his tail and lick us at the same time. I would conveniently make up stories about how Snoopy had slobbered all over me and that was enough for the weeping willow!

We considered each other a waste of human space, and didn’t hesitate to say so. Several tearful days followed, as did the parent’s wrath. Dad always said once you both grow up, you won’t be able to live without each other. Yes, we believed him like life would be full of Sundays! We scoffed the very thought and couldn’t wait for each other to get out of the room, house and lives!

School was the other nightmare! Having this lil’ sister winging around and I got ticked off by the teachers for all that she hadn’t done. Being constantly told that I was the role model and had to set an example got my goat. Why couldn’t she just be a separate individual?

Why were we clubbed together like Siamese twins? People felt obliged to invite her when they invited me to birthday parties / movies. I’d much rather have just dropped her in the garbage bin than have to suffer her for a whole evening. I often told her she was adopted and reduced her to tears. Sounds mean in hindsight, but I enjoyed seeing that expression on her face those days and loved it when the water works started!

Wonder if others go through these streaks of “hating” the sibling or am I different?
- Shirin

LIFE I LEARNED FROM A JIGSAW PUZZLE

Don't force a fit. If something is meant to be, it will come together naturally.
When things aren't going so well, take a break. Everything will look different when you return.
Be sure to look at the big picture. Getting hung up on the little pieces only leads to frustration.
Perseverance pays off. Every important puzzle went together bit by bit, piece by piece.
When one spot stops working, move to another. But be sure to come back later
(see above).
The creator of the puzzle gave you the picture as a guidebook.
Variety is the spice of life. It's the different colors and patterns that make the puzzle interesting.
Establish the border first. Boundaries give a sense of security and order.
Don't be afraid to try different combinations. Some matches are surprising.
Take time to celebrate your successes (even little ones).
Anything worth doing takes time and effort. A great puzzle can't be rushed.
- Nityashree

Unanswered Questions

I’ve just got back from a holiday, with my two kids aged 4 and 6. It was a blissful period of rest and recuperation and getting some of my thoughts in order. The last 3 years have been Hell. Court appearances, divorce proceedings and constant battles with my ex-husband sapped me of all my energy.

Looking back, I feel I was constantly struggling. Struggling to appear strong and optimistic, keeping my sanity, trying to make ends meet, trying to be a single parent to little kids who never understood any thing of what I went through. It was hard to keep my job and have to leave my kids with my mom for day care.

All this while my ex-husband was “enjoying”. He never paid me anything towards maintenance, didn’t bother about the kids, and seemed to be having a merry time with his girlfriend.

Reflecting on the last three years I realized the hurt, the pain and the humiliation I had gone through. Would it have been easier to carry on, turning a blind eye to his philandering ways? What was I trying to prove? That I can stand on my own two feet? That I can be a mom and dad to two innocent children? That I stood for certain ideals and wasn’t going to compromise?

Only a single mom knows how hard and exhausting things are. Are there other women out there who have a similar story? Wonder if we can exchange notes. Is divorce really worth it? Are divorced people happier? Will my kids blame me some day for the extreme step I took? Would it scar them for life? There are so many questions…..I’m just waiting to get some answers!

- Jamini

THE BOND THAT BINDS!

With Rakhi round the corner, on 28th Aug, I’d just like to share my thoughts and the relevance of this traditional ritual / festival even today.

Rakhi is that wonderful time of the year, when we celebrate our brothers! The love between a brother and sister, is an unparalleled bond, and we as Indians, should be proud of this wonderful legacy. In today’s fast paced life, most of us do away with rituals, have no time for age-old traditions and continue to live our life in the fast lane.
Rakhi is a traditional festival with a deep meaning, and we should take the time to tell our children the deeper meaning behind the celebration, and reinforce the love between a brother and sister.

It is always celebrated on the full moon day ( Purnima ) in the month of Shravan. The sister ties the holy thread or Rakhi on her brother’s wrist, with much love and affection. With this thread, she prays for her brother’s long life, wishes him good health and prosperity. The brother, on his part offers his sister a life long commitment, to always protect her and stand by her in good and bad times.

If someone does not have a real brother, they can tie the Rakhi to a cousin or any male, who they consider as a brother. When Rani Karnavati of Chittor sought protection, she sent a Rakhi to Emperor Humayun, who, on his part, is known to have abandoned a military campaign he was immersed in, and he came to the rescue of his sister. Rakhi is also tied to show solidarity and kinship. Religion has no role to play in it.

In these troubled times of violence, arson and destruction, shouldn’t we take the initiative, and teach our children this simple lesson of love?

- Anupam

Can money matters cost you your marriage?

I have been married two years (love marriage) to a co-worker. We are earning well – more than what couples of our age earn. But is money everything? We did think so in the beginning. But we feel terrible now and can’t seem to stop fighting. We work in a BPO and are pampered by our employers. Both of us work all nights, come home like rags and simply go straight to sleep. Sex life is at a standstill - we hardly touch each other and worse, he says he wants a baby now! We live by ourselves in a small apartment but it is in a holy mess now because there is no time to get it cleaned up properly. I cannot even stir when the maid comes and she does pretty much what she wants. And now he’s asking me to give up my job – why should I when I got him his job in the first place? Anyway imagine missing out on the luxuries! I don’t think I can and nor can he. I feel like I’m already falling out of love and he is not the person I married – he nitpicks too much. Should I get out before it’s too late? Can anyone give me a good solution? I’m depending on you guys from Sitagita even before I discuss this with anyone else.

-Malini K

Moving Forward

I know plenty of people whose spouses have had affairs and their marriages have split. Sometimes legally, ending up in a divorce. Sometimes they just choose to stay apart, away from each other or continue to live separately, under one roof.
My friend Mythili is one such case. After 8 years of separation, and being single, she says she is still emotionally battered. I’ve always wondered why? Is her hurt self-inflicted? Why isn’t she in control of her emotional state, and responsible for her feelings?

Rational thinking can change a person’s thought process and consequently her emotional state, over a period of time. I agree, that divorce is definitely devastating, but what happens after a divorce? Do people let go? Or do they choose to hang on to the negatives, feeling sorry for themselves or their state? Isn’t it a person’s responsibility to move on in life? Is it more important to hold on to the grudges or learn from life’s experiences? Does the divorce leave them wiser or even happier? I know it’s probably different when a person goes through a divorce, compared to my thinking aloud. But at the same time, I do wonder why people remain emotional cripples several years down the line? It is important to think honestly and objectively. Moreover, I feel it is important for a person to take responsibility for her feelings. Any thoughts, on the matter? Would love to hear..

- Anamika

What shall I do to get well from my eating disorder? Recommend methods for anorexia, bulimia and fat recovery.

It takes time to get well and you must work on yourself.

Suppose you have inherited an old house full of rubbish and in need of repair. It takes a lot of purposeful work to make it a beautiful, functional home, but it can be done if you work hard. It is, maybe, not so important which room in the building you start with, but it is important to start somewhere, otherwise nothing will happen. Important problems to attack if you have an eating disorder:

Switch to a diet containing wholesome food which does not lure you into overeating. More
The food should also be based on ingredients with a low glycemic index. More
Learn to recognize your feelings of physical hunger and satisfaction. Eat only in response to physical hunger and stop when you are satisfied. More
Learn to recognize true feelings and solve problems. Don't flee from unpleasant feelings by means of starvation, vomiting or compulsive eating. Accept and allow yourself to feel unpleasant feelings.
Consider the whole of your life: studies, work, friends, spare time, family, home, etc. Where can you make improvements?
Try to think in a constructive way so that you don't make unnecessary difficulties for yourself.
Some medicines can make this process easier for some people. They do not cure your eating problems, just make it a little easier to get well. These medicines are:
SSRI medicines.
Naltrexone (Revia).

How can I change my eating habits?

Make a record of all your bad eating habits, such as:

Skipping lunch
Buying a bar of chocolate every day
Eating toast, butter and marmalade all evening
Eating too much fat cheese
Eating while working at the sink instead of sitting down at the dining table.
Vomiting almost every evening

Select the bad habit which you think will be the easiest to correct and concentrate all you can on improving this habit first.

When you have successfully managed to introduce a better habit, e.g., to eat a plate of salad for lunch every day, you can then begin to remove the next bad habit, and so on.

Through all this time, you can count on feeling sad and irritated. The eating monster inside you will insist on continuing with the bad habit. It will be necessary for you to be as persistent as somebody who has decided to stop smoking. Finally, in time you will get accustomed to it and experience the new habit as obvious and natural. Plus, you will feel good about yourself for having overcome a bad and unnecessary habit.

How can I change my behaviour? How to change life? How break a bad habit?

If you want to solve your problems, you must be active and this often involves changing your habits and ways of thinking.
For example, you may want to reduce your weight, find a better job, complete a difficult task, or change your relations to other people.

These problems are difficult and extensive. To be successful, it might help to divide them into a number of smaller objectives. Begin with the one that comes first and then set new objectives. You do not have to make a list of all the objectives in advance.

Every objective must be clearly defined; e.g., if you want to reduce your weight, you may begin by deciding to take more exercise, but this is not at all clearly defined. It would be better to state that you intend to walk or cycle for 30 minutes a day.

It might be wise not to demand perfection from yourself. You could, for example, decide to exercise 30 minutes at least five days a week instead of 30 minutes a day. That gives you the possibility to succeed even if you don't manage to do it every day.

If you want to achieve a big change, it can be a good idea to divide it into a series of small short-time subgoals, which step by step will bring you closer to your final goal. For example, if your home is unclean and messy and you don't have the energy to clean it all at once, you could decide to clean for 30 minutes a day or do one room every Saturday and finally get the nice, clean home you long for, after a few weeks.

It is often easier to make small changes, one at a time, than large changes in your way of living. To completely change your eating habits may, for example, seem insurmountable. But if you take one step at a time, you will, after several steps, notice that you have achieved much more than you first thought possible.

It is obvious that this approach can be applied to almost anything you want to do.
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