I’ve just got back from a holiday, with my two kids aged 4 and 6. It was a blissful period of rest and recuperation and getting some of my thoughts in order. The last 3 years have been Hell. Court appearances, divorce proceedings and constant battles with my ex-husband sapped me of all my energy.
Looking back, I feel I was constantly struggling. Struggling to appear strong and optimistic, keeping my sanity, trying to make ends meet, trying to be a single parent to little kids who never understood any thing of what I went through. It was hard to keep my job and have to leave my kids with my mom for day care.
All this while my ex-husband was “enjoying”. He never paid me anything towards maintenance, didn’t bother about the kids, and seemed to be having a merry time with his girlfriend.
Reflecting on the last three years I realized the hurt, the pain and the humiliation I had gone through. Would it have been easier to carry on, turning a blind eye to his philandering ways? What was I trying to prove? That I can stand on my own two feet? That I can be a mom and dad to two innocent children? That I stood for certain ideals and wasn’t going to compromise?
Only a single mom knows how hard and exhausting things are. Are there other women out there who have a similar story? Wonder if we can exchange notes. Is divorce really worth it? Are divorced people happier? Will my kids blame me some day for the extreme step I took? Would it scar them for life? There are so many questions…..I’m just waiting to get some answers!
- Jamini
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